another day slaved away bury your time in a grave
above the dirt hurts so much worse now he's dead too
and I'm jealous
he found the way out and his time is like his brains
scattered on the ground fragments changed
pushing people away for years
ignoring all of your fears all alone
aimless online nothings passing the time
and the traumas attached to your home
the guilt and the shame taking the life that day kept eating you away
and add two million dollars on top of the pain
attaching a number to a life like that
who could feel satisfied with a price like that
I hope they pay twice as much for doing the same exact fucking thing

twenty feet away the other side of the wall
old familiar face unrecognizable state
in the oven is preferable to putting him in a vault
there's no rest to find surrounded by eight feet of concrete
so far away for so long but now we're closer than ever
it was a lie when they told you that things for you would get better
I can't imagine the guilt you felt
I can't imagine the shoes you filled
I get why you couldn't look in the mirror for even just one more day

hey (woo!)

please just let me know if that's somewhere that I should go
it's just so hard to say which way I'll end up feeling today

you couldn't hack it you just couldn't wrap your head around it
sick of everyone smiling to your face talking shit behind your back
and even though things were slow you stuck around
and everyone kept their distance because the guilt you carried around
and everyday you drove the same piece of shit that you were in when you got in this shit
pieces of a different color constant reminder where there was a human sized dent in it

selfish reflection I'm jealous of the circumstance
another chance to exploit another dead friend
another fucked up means to another fucked up end
who finds a tree if it falls in the woods?
who feels so wrong when they've done all they could?

it's a long fall from grace until you land in the grave
how many times did you put that barrel right next to your face?
was that guilt heavier than the guilt you already beared?
or was it equal sides of the same coin whose faces you shared?

scared to go to the place that was once so comfortable
another day another dash of guilt you're responsible
manic depressive in a state of altered consciousness
green and yellow blend together in a black outline absolute flawlessness

waste away molded just like clay
digging more every day
its the same everythings unchanged
time passes faster in a grave

loss of determination seeps through on the page
wondering what's left from here on out and where to fill my drink
losing sight of what I thought was important
telling a story just to come to grip with reality
it's everything that it seems

pull up a chair have a seat right there
I've got a yarn I can spin you if you've got the time to spare
so far up my own ass and I don't know how to listen
but check this shit out try and count dis
count dissun
fuck
where was the story I must've dropped it along the way
I only had a few important things to say
I don't know who I am or where I'm going now
but I gotta figure out how to get this stranger there somehow